Within my family their lies several different cultures. I'm the oldest of 4 brothers and 2 sisters. My brothers I keep the communication short and sweet. We don't talk often but when we do its effortless and I enjoy them. My sisters on the other hand require so much more of me than I find myself having the patience to give. With one sister Ame* I have to watch what I say because she's easily offended, doesn't understand what you mean most times, and will extend the conversation well beyond the time it needs to be. For that reason I find myself avoiding her calls or trying to stay busy when we're in person. My other sister, doesn't like to talk and it's fine with me. We can be in the same room and say 5 words. If she feels like talking she will initiate conversation and is direct. Our conversations are limited because we don't have similar interest. She says that she doesn't understand the things I talk about and I'm boring. However, when I have fashion questions or need her to help with makeup she comes alive and we have a good time. I really wish that I had a better communication/relationship with my sisters. I love them both but it seems like I'm from Mars and they're from Saturn and Uranus. I think it has a lot to do with our age gap, where we grew up( we all didn't live together), difference in lifestyles, and talents. There can be culture differences within families. This week I have learned that the Platinum Rule is an effective strategy to improve communication. I can apply the Platinum Rule to my communicating with my sisters. If I consider how Ame feels and likes to be talked to I can put my expectations aside SOMEtimes to show her I care. I don't mind sarcasm and someone telling me how it is, without the sugar but I KNOW she needs the sugar. I will admit that I cannot apply the Platinum Rule at the expense of my own sanity. I think it is important to take the other persons point of view but not in excess or if it makes you "unhealthy". Another strategy I gained this week is to beware of the effects of "cultural myopia" on my relationship with these ladies (my sisters). I think that I'm guilty of holding them to my standards and well I'm sure my parents have as well since I'm the oldest. However, is Lydia's really wrong for only talking to us when she needs to and does her silence really mean she doesn't care? The third strategy is "acknowleging our differences". My sister Ame and I have had a conversation in which we talked about some of our problems being becaue of our differences. It does seem as though it helped. However, Lydia and I have not had that talk. I think it would help to talk about how we are different but the differences don't have to be seen as negative but a way for us to celebrate each other. I like her directness and how she stays out of gossip. I think these strategies will help improve my communication with my sisters and can easily be used with other people I struggle to communicate with.
